There is a huge part of me that is tempted to delete the 'Getting to target by May' page and start 'yet' again.. but in the interest of honesty I am not going to.  I have been messing about at this diet for months, pretty much ever since I came back off holiday - I don't want to make excuses for being useless after all nobody except me puts the food in my mouth.

However (and how did you know that was coming! warning excuse coming...) I do think that I am missing out on attending a fully functional class. My group is on the verge of closure - it hit an all time low when just 6 people got weighed last week.  I need the competition, the banter, the social interaction of a group - sharing ideas, spending that one evening a week concentrating completely on losing weight. With a class that has such small numbers, no permanent leader and a cloud over its head, all the benefits of going at all are missing.  I appreciate the leaders who have stepped in over the recent months, but I think the time has come for me to move on - so tomorrow will be my last Thursday weigh in regardless of whether the class closes or not, from next week I will be getting weighed on a Monday - and fingers crossed actually losing weight again.

I feel like I have let the kind readers of my ramblings down of late, hardly an inspiring weight loss story on display - hope to do better next year!  (sounds like my school report that)

Weigh Day Results 1 Dec 2011

I am quite surprised that I lost weight this week, I am certainly surprised that I lost 3lb.  Still I am not going to complain, makes up for those weeks I gained when I shouldn't have I suppose.

This week is going to be tough, it is Huddersfield Festival of Light this weekend,a fantastic 3 day festival of street theatre, and outdoor shows with lots of light inspired installations around the town.  I can't wait it should be fantastic. I am working on the main information stand tomorrow, and we are taking the kids on Saturday so it is going to be really hard to stick to the diet. Then it is Sunday dinner at my mum's and on Monday it is my birthday, I'll be 31 years old.  I think we are going to Liverpool for the day - which will mean eating out again.

Hopefully I can get back on the plan on Tuesday and then I should be OK for the last 3 days of the week.  Considering what I have planned I think I would be happy if I could just lose 0.5lb.

Getting on track after missing class!

I know a lot of people do SW without going to class, some very successfully but I am useless I know someone else is watching me - recording my weight and making sure I know where I am going wrong. I missed class last week to go to an awards ceremony - we won by the way- yipee!

But that means I have been off plan since Thursday morning when I stupidly decided to eat what I felt like, a slight hangover on Friday meant more junk food and a takeaway for tea and now I can't seem to get back under control, I keep starting each day with good intentions but have developed a taste for things I shouldn't and that is overriding my efforts.  I do really want to get motivated again, I have been messing about for far too long - I want to be at target by May that's 23 weeks and I need to loose 33lbs.  I need to start losing 2lb a week on a regular basis to have any chance of achieving this goal - it is time to get serious.

I need to set a new food diary challenge so come Thursday when I get weighed again I am going to start a new page (turn over a new leaf?) and set about that 2lb a week loss.

Wish me luck!!!

weigh day results 10 Nov 2011

OK I suspected that it would be a gain, I am not even surprised by the size, I deserved every single one of those 3lb's.  Those who are good at Maths will have already worked out that I am back up above the 2.5stone I was so happy about last week - damn it!

The reason for my appalling gain - I have had a stinking cold all week, my car is broken, its horrible weather and I remember why I learnt to drive, public transport is unreliable and slow and nothing is more depressing than standing at bus stop shivering for 40 minutes.  I turned to food for comfort, and despite having a whole host of healthy options for warm comforting food I decided I wanted everything I shouldn't. For anyone who is going off the wagon for a week who loves burgers I highly recommend Oscar's Mountain Burger from Oscar's wine bar in York, the Special burger is amazing too (from previous experience).  However anyone thinking about actually losing weight probably should avoid it like the plague.  I suspect if I had stopped there I might have maintained, but the rest of the week was no better biscuits, sandwiches, toast, pasties, chocolate... the list goes on.

Oh well never mind, what's done is done I have started this week determined to get back on the plan, I am still not 100% well but I have set myself a goal for Christmas and I am never going to get there unless I am dedicated.

I went shopping yesterday and ended up buying some clothes in ASDA without trying them on, I picked up 14's because my work trousers are a 14 from there, and fit fine.  Hmm sizing is an evil devil the size 14 jeans I picked up are impossible to fasten, they barely make it over my bum - very disappointed.  However I will not be beaten I am wearing them this Christmas, and I do mean 2011!

Tomorrow SW curry for tea - no takeaways, no eating out!!! Wish me look fellow weight battlers!

Slack Alice blogger is back again - with an award !!

So its been a couple of weeks and I finally got my 2.5stone award - yipee!  Down to 13stone 5lb lowest weight since about 2005.  I am trying desperately to get down to a real size 14 dress size - I have an awards ceremony to attend for work on the 17 November. Incidentally this is weigh night so I will be missing one, but am going to look for a Friday class that week so I can keep on track.

I really want to look good and don't want to buy a 16 as I will probably not wear it again if I keep losing weight being I am on the cusp of a 14 already, definitely on the bottom, tops are still just a bit tight.

I am going to go shopping tomorrow to the coast outlet shop in York and we will see how it goes, I can't look a mess as I am sitting on a table with the chief exec of the local council and various other senior managers... scary!!

So what else do I have to share, oh my group still doesn't have a new leader, we have about 20 regular weigh-ins at the moment but I don't think we are going to see any real growth until we have some consistency - If I was closer to target I think I would take it on, I know it could be a good one, the audience is out there they just need someone to take them under their wing and get them on track to a better, healthier life.

I have really begun thinking that a career in slimming world might be my next step - I really do believe losing weight with a healthy long term plan is life changing, I wanted to loose weight to look better; but you know what the real benefits -feeling fitter, having more energy and not using my weight as an excuse have been much bigger and more important changes - if I could bottle up the change losing weight has had on my life I think I could make a fortune.

When you are really overweight; when just tying your shoes makes you out of breath, when you loose interest in your life, can't be bothered to do anything around the house and start believing that this is you, this is all you deserve: The idea that you might one day love going to the gym, relish seeing the house clean and shiny - be much happier doing something than just sitting around and actually feel alive again is so unbelievable that you just continue to vegetate and get bigger.

Even after starting to loose weight, the littlest set backs are so hard to overcome when you just don't seem to be able to do anything right, you can make excuses for why you can't loose weight but the only real barrier to a happier you is you, and throughout your journey you will have days like that, days when its easier to say this is me, I can cope with that - but remembering that you already feel better and that you could feel better still if you continue to try is what you should hang on to.

The journey may be long -but its worth it and one day you will look in the mirror and smile - I know one day I will, well at least I might look at myself and not feel the urge to throw something at the mirror.

Here endeth my though for the day|!!

Happy slimming!!

I'm back - blooming internet!

OK weeks of internet problems caused by my stupid security blocking my ISP and I am back.  Can't say much has happened diet wise I am currently weighing in at 13stone 8lb (well I was last Thursday).  I have started doing some clothes shopping, I had no winter clothes in less than an 18, so I went and tried on some trousers in the supermarket and bought... wait for it.... a size 14! OK I know supermarket sizes are a bit bigger than the high street, bit still it is 3 sizes smaller than I was at my heaviest, so I am really delighted by this.

Diet wise I have been a bit hit and miss for weeks - trying to do more exercise, eat more fruit and veg and stick to my syns.  I got a suitcase of size 12 clothes out of the attic yesterday and decided I wanted to be in them before the end of the winter - ideally by Christmas, I don't know how much weight I need to loose, I know its a stone a size but my recollection is I was a size 12 when I weighed 12 stone so that's just over a stone and a half.  Ten weigh days before Xmas that could mean a loss of 20lb is that would get me 2lb away at 2lb a week.

Now anyone following my blog will know I loose 1lb a week pretty much no matter what I do so that could be a bit of a stretch, but I figure aim for the stars and worst case you might land on a cloud.

I will try to loose 2lb a week from next week and see how it goes!

Sunday night blues!

I have had a lovely weekend, albeit not particularly great on the syns - which may be why I feel so damn freaked out right now.  I have had 2 fantastic weight losses in a row, 4lb last week and then I lost 5lb this week - not done since I rejoined in 2009.  That is 9lb in two weeks, the problem is now I am terrified of gaining - if I have a big weight loss I almost always do, and I have had too naughty meals this weekend!

Yesterday I had fish and chips, mine and 'his' were wrapped together so I had 1/3 of the chips and took all the batter off the fish - I took an estimated guess on the syns as I didn't actually get the scales out and counted 17.5 for an average portion of chips.

Tonight I went out for my tea to a pub, unfortunately jacket spuds were not on the menu - so I had a few large chips (almost wedge sized) with steak, peas, mushrooms and tomatoes.  We shared a starter which included some ciabatta (probably half of one cut into slices between us), some battered chicken, battered mushrooms and pate. I took almost all the batter off the mushrooms and chicken but counted it all based on frozen chicken dippers - I couldn't find battered mushrooms anywhere on slimming world online. It also included some Cornish brie melted in a bowl - I think there was about 2 ounces which  I ate most of, god I love cheese!

For the whole meal I counted 46.5 syns including 2 glasses of wine- I think that I am covering everything but I just can't be sure - hence the anxiety!

My intention is to be saintly from now on - I have made a quiche for lunch tomorrow (1/2 a syn for the whole thing) and I will get some meat out for tea, if I can keep to a few syns a day max and get to the gym twice before Thursday; fingers crossed I will get a loss!

I hate not being in control, but at the same time don't want to live by a diet!

On a more positive note my sort of (lets not go there) sister in law is on SW too and we were sharing recipes this afternoon, she was making sweet and sour chicken with a can of diet tango - she wasn't all that impressed - it smelled quite nice though I might have a go at adapting the recipe this week!

farewell for now!

Starting again...sort of!

When you start slimming world the first time, you get a pack with all the things you need to start the diet, one of the things in the pack is a document called something like 'your fabulous first week'.

I have never started SW with a fabulous or fantastic first week usually I either gain weight or maintain, on the odd occasion I have lost half a pound, for whatever reason no matter how hard I stick to the diet, if I have been off it for a while I just don't seem to lose weight that first week back.

I would like to say to anyone who has started SW for the first time, that if this happens to you, it will eventually come good. Stick with it, keep your food diary and bask in the fact that if after 4 weeks you haven't lost weight SW will give you your money back as long as you hand in your diary each week. I have not yet, despite my history of poor starts, been able to squeeze a penny out of them!

Now back to this week, I am sure you can tell from my absence that I lost the plot a bit the other week, felt a familiar pattern emerging again, the pattern I was keen to stop when I started blogging about my SW escapades, 2 gains in 2 weeks - thankfully only 4 1/2 pounds not 7 this time but still a sure sign something needed to change.

I decided to stop with the targets, aiming for a specific weight loss seems to have the opposite effect, the most success I have had was when my only goal was to stick to the plan 100% and keep a food diary.  So I have started that again.

I decided to use the online food diary on the SW website, it is quick and convenient and allows you to look up your syns by keyword - which is great when you can't think who makes something.  There are elements I would like to change - it would be good to be able to group ingredients by recipe instead just a long list but overall I found it helpful, I even logged in at work to keep it updated.

So what was the net result of my efforts,  I had 72 syns all week (and it was a bank holiday) and lost 4lb!!

My food diaries for the week:

Weigh Day Results 18 Aug 2011

Oops, its a case of three steps forward and two steps back this week, not in the slightest bit surprising considering that I lost the plot and fell off the wagon  - although you would think all that searching and falling would count as body magic!

I think I have got a bit bored of my diet, I seem to eat the same things all the time and and its not very inspiring.  I am going to have a look through the pile of SW magazines and books that I have collected over the last few years and find something different to eat.

Last night I had Diet Coke Chicken, I didn't have pasatta so just used tinned toms, I never really stick to the same recipe but this one tasted pretty good with syn free chips.

Recipe

Carton of tinned tomatoes
packet of skinless, boneless chicken thighs
2 red onions (sliced length ways)
1 chicken stock pot
Chilli powder
400ml diet coke

brown onions and chicken thighs with chilli powder in a wok
mix tomato, stock and coke together in a bowl or jug
pour tomato mixture over chicken
cook on stove over a medium heat for 30-40 mins or until sticky

Yummy!

Weigh Day Results 11 Aug 2011

Yippee I lost 3lb, I am back at my pre-holiday 2 stone total weight loss, and back to being overweight not obese, what a fab slimming world week.

OK so I slipped up on keeping my diary updated towards the end of the week, I did actually keep a list on my PC at work I just didn't find the time to blog (naughty me!).  I managed to stay on the right side of 105 (just) but  what I figure made the difference was that I hit the gym on Friday, Sunday and Monday, I started using the cross trainer, which is less painful on the old ankle and gets me really hot and sweaty (which I take as a sign of a good workout).

I started volunteering to take the money at class, what with there being no consistency in leaders I thought it might help if at least someone looked the same each week when everyone got weighed, my mum is doing the weighing so its a real family affair.  I really like helping out, being part of the group, it definitely inspires me to get enough weight off so I can apply to be a consultant myself.

Anyhow night night, have a good week everyone!

What is it with changing everything I like so it isn't syn free

Last month the devastating news that Joe's Sausages would no longer be certified as free nearly broke my heart and then it was quorn sausages, now it is muller light - the staples of slimming world are under attack! 

For anyone who hasn't heard, or seen; the newly packaged muller lights are a different recipe, this means that the rhubarb, mandarin and banana and custard yoghurts (my favourites) are all syn-ed.  They are 1/2 a syn each ,which isn't a lot but means that you can't eat them with reckless abandon anymore and who wants to use their syns on 'yoghurts' for goodness sake. 

I have been advised that the yoghurt technicians (that is quite a cool job title) are working to get the syns down again, clearly muller must realise the majority of their sales are from us Slimming World devotees - so lets hope they manage it, what I don't get is what was wrong with the old recipe, why is it always change, change, change. Boo hiss!

Right rant over, off to do some work now!

Weigh Day Results 4 Aug 2011

So despite my terrible week I managed to lose 1/2 lb.  I think I need to reassess my target for the next few weeks I have decided I want to loose 9lb in the next 6 weeks that would be 13stone 8lb by 15 September.

I really want to try and do the diet 100% this week, stick to my syns, get some exercise, do the thirds properly, write things down.

so far today I have had;

1 hifi bar 6syns
1 packet of french fries 4syns
syn free homemade colslaw
steak
syn free chips
lettuce

daily total syns 10

I am going to restart my diary challenge from this week, hopefully I will do a better job this week.

Getting back on track - changing plans

I decided that the best way to take control of what (as you can tell from my total failure to complete my food diary) has been a rubbish week.  I am really struggling to get my motivation following my holiday, I ate exactly what I wanted when I was away and now I can't seem to stop.  I am planning SW meals but still snacking on everything else.

Today is the first day that I have really thought about what I am doing, I decided that what I wanted was to eat cheese, and as any long term follower of SW knows, the best way to do this is have green day.

I haven't had a proper green day since extra easy came out, which is a long time now.  I have to admit I found the prospect of no meat really scary, odd considering I was a vegetarian for 7 years during my teens.  I just didn't know what to make, in the end I had pasta salad for lunch, which was a fetching shade of pink thanks to the beetroot. I threw in some chickpeas, tomatoes, cucumber, apple, and spring onions and despite my reservations it actually tasted OK.


I was starving when I got in, so I had a packet of morrisons egg fried rice which was 4.5 syns (I thought it was less, which proves you should check before you eat!)

For tea I had my second healthy B low fat soft cheese with garlic and herbs with mushroom and tagliatelle (for the first  had my usual breakfast of Alpen lights, it is a good thing they have a few flavours otherwise it could get boring).

I just finished my bowl of cherries, 0% Greek yoghurt, sweetener and vanilla essence.

I hope that I have managed to convince my mind it is supposed to be following slimming world and I can finally get back on track, thanks to all those who offered advice on twitter, I love how we can all be here for each other despite the fact that we could be miles apart - isn't technology great!!

Weigh Day Results 28 July 2011

Drum role please! OK I am ready to announce my weight change following my holiday... I am very pleased, I thought it would be worse but in the end I only gained 3.5lb taking me back up to 14stone 2.5lb.  I have decided that I am going to try and lose 1.5 this week and get me back down to overweight instead of obese. I know it is going to take a while to rectify the damage but at least it isn't half a stone.  So I figure I need a new target I would like to weigh 12 stone 12 by the end of October that is 14 weeks away and by my reckoning 18.5lb.  I know that is pretty ambitious considering my average of just less than 1lb a week, but aim high and who knows what you might achieve. Shoot for the stars and you might just hit a cloud on a sunny day and make a rainbow.

I am going to try and get back to keeping an online food diary and add some more foody photos.  I suppose I should make it a challenge; so how about I pledge to keep a food diary, provide at least one recipe and one photo a week for the next 14 weeks.

Good luck everyone and just keep slimming

Back from holiday - Back on track tomorrow

I arrived back yesterday, I haven't been shopping yet so I haven't got back on track immediately (I know excuses, excuses).  My lovely 'mummy' has kindly made me a syn free quiche to take for lunch tomorrow so I can start afresh, she is a star!

Things at my SW class are a bit rubbish at the moment, a couple of weeks before I went away, our leader announced that due to health problems (2 operations with 18 months recovery time) she will be giving up running the class, and won't be coming back.  This has left the group with a interchangable set of consultants and team leaders from around the area.

Now as a long term SW devotee, I have my share of leaders and whilst they all do there best they are not all equal. A good leader is understanding, motivating, commited, interesting, encourages participation and shares useful information and recipes etc.  A good leader understands that everyone approaches their journey at a different pace. She or he accepts that we and our bodies are all different, so when we have those unexplained maintains, or god forbid gains we are not made to feel that it is our fault and sent home like a naughty child told 'must do better'.

More importantly they don't scoff at our oddities. for example some people really don't lose weight when they eat bananas (lets face it there is a reason they are not free on a lot of diets, they are high in starch and 110 calories each).  I am lucky and they have never been a problem for me, but I know some people swear that for them too many bananas are a no, no.  If you are happy to avoid eating them, and it works for you then nobody should be telling you that you are wrong to do so, you know your body better than anyone else.  I would say though checking that it isn't something else that is tripping you up should be your first point of action, before cutting out 'free' foods.

I hope we get a permanent leader soon, someone who can deliver all of the above and at least atttempt to fill Lynn's shoes, our group has always been friendly and welcoming and we have normally had a good stay to class rate, this was testament to Lynn's enthusiasm and happy demeanour - you will be missed, and I for one hope you are back fighting fit soon. 

So now we are a make do group with no sense of consistency, which I accept as an unfortunate situation which is nobodies fault but now I think someone has seriously dropped the ball. My mum went to class while I was on holiday last week, and there was no-one there, no warning, no messages or emails to explain why, she contacted SW head office and the person she needed to speak to wasn't there and so she is now waiting on a response.  Numbers have been dwindling since our leader left, and the team leader was talking about moving the group but nobody has contacted me or mum to let us know, as we are the longest serving members of the group I think that this is pretty off, so come on SW get your act together!

Sorry for the rant, just needed to get that off my chest.  Back to me, assuming I have a class to go to on Thursday I will hopefully be able to update you on the holiday damage and my next target/challenge then.

Weigh Day Results 07 July 2011

Finally, I have reached the the goal, I have sought for 11 long weeks, I lost 1.5lb and got my... wait for it... I know it is a miracle... I have my 2 stone award.

Now the only problem is that I am on holiday for 2 weeks from Monday so I guess it will be a short lived attainment, I hate the idea of putting on weight after all this hard work, especially when it takes so long to lose each pound.  But at the same time I really want to enjoy this holiday, I need a break, I need more than a break but hey it is the best I can get right now.

I have set myself a target of gaining no more than 4lb before the next time get weighed.  I think maybe if I keep that in mind then I will avoid messing it up beyond all hope and gaining back all that I have lost.  I guess only time will tell if this strategy will work, but it is worth a try.

The resort I am going to has a big pool and a gym, so maybe I will get some exercise - I might even come back weighing less (ha ha yeah as if)!

Weigh Day Results 23 June 2011

Oops I gained 1lb this week. Clearly 2 takeaways in one week pushes flexible syns too far.  I am back on it again now, really hope I can hit my 10 week target next week.  I had my hair cut today so must have lost at least an ounce there !! Hmm not sure that that counts really, better make sure that I eat and exercise properly too.

I finally discharged myself from physio this week (didn't feel there was much more they could do for me in the class I was attending) so now I need to replace my ankle classes with proper gym work. I don't think I am capable of running yet, considering that I still struggle standing on one leg (particularly the bad one). I am going to add the stepper into my workout, along with the bike and walking on the treadmill.  I think I might start working towards my first body magic award, hopefully that will motivate me to go to the gym regularly.

Losing weight is the one thing in my life I can control at the moment. I need to feel better about myself, my confidence has taken a real battering lately and the only thing that keeps me going is the nice comments I get when people notice I have lost weight.  Saying that; you really can have too much of a good thing... can't get complacent still a long way to go.

Good luck for the rest of the week everyone

Weigh Day Results 16 June 2011

I have lost another 1.5lb this week, I am absolutely thrilled.  I have just worked out that this means I have lost just over a stone since I started blogging about slimming world back in March.  It works out as just less than 1lb a week which considering that I took nearly 18 months to loose the first 13lb, is actually pretty good going.  Writing this blog has really helped me get my focus, and I am grateful to everyone who reads it, I don't know any of you but seeing that every so often someone pops on and has a look really keeps me going through the tough times.

Weigh Day Results 9 June 2011

Sorry for the delayed post

got around to it, feel I may have been neglecting my blog and probably my commitment to SW.

Update from last week...

Having maintained for 2 weeks for no reason I new that if I was good and stuck to plan and it resulted in another maintain, in frustration I would have most likely completely fallen off the wagon, so I figured I would give myself a well earned weekend off.  I had everything I wanted Thursday night to Sunday night and got back on it first thing Monday.  Absolutely delighted that I lost 1.5lb finally I am in the 'overweight' BMI category instead of 'obese'.

Now to this week...

Unfortunately this week I have been rubbish, I don't have a clue how many syns I have had, because I haven't kept a food diary and this means I don't know what to expect on the scales tomorrow.  I think I am within my syns still but I might not be! They say if you do something long enough it becomes a habit, this is certainly the case with writing down what I have eaten, now when I don't write things down I feel completely lost.

Help I am a girl honest!

I have less than three weeks before the wedding and need to prepare for my unveiling as a glossy sophisticated woman (hmm who am I kidding, I just don't want to frighten small children).  I have to admit it is a long time since I have been preened and pampered (back when I was a slim slip of a 24 year old), but I have promised myself that I am going to do it properly. I  have tried to work out what a 'girly girl' would do and have come up with this list:

• Full leg wax
• Spray tan
• Pedicure and manicure
• Highlights, cut and blow dry

I am pretty useless at all this stuff, I don't know what order to do what - should I have a leg wax first then the tan, if so how long do I leave between them?

I assume the manicure and pedicure would be best last probably the Saturday before the Monday of the wedding?

Am I missing anything off the list ? Oh I am having a scale and polish at the dentist the week before as well.

I would appreciate any hints and tips on how to look like a 'lady' I am 30 years old and just don't have a clue, I am like a fat miss congeniality (without the gun).

Weigh Day Results 2 June 2011

Another maintain! I can only attribute this ridiculous stall to the fact that I have been on the contraceptive pill for 3 weeks now for the first time in 6 years.  I was sceptical that this was the cause until I read the information leaflet and weight gain was clearly listed as a common side effect.  Very frustrating, but its a toss up between quick weight loss and improving the other poly cystic ovary syndrome symptoms.  I am holding onto the hope that once my body gets used to the influx of hormones it will start losing weight again, either way I am not giving up on SW, I know it works, its just my body that doesn't!

I am slightly concerned about the current E.coli outbreak, is this a good excuse to become a salad dodger? will SW revise the diet to stop the eating of uncooked veg? Am I getting rather too obsessed? I washed my fruit for about 2 minutes this morning just to be on the safe side, thank god I am not on a water meter.

weigh day results 26 May 2011

I maintained my weight this week, disappointed as I really hoped I had turned a corner.  Losing weight feels like the only thing I have control of at the moment, when things don't happen how you expect it is just another blow to my self esteem.  'I can't even lose weight properly' is constantly going round in my head.  I feel like a failure, I wonder how life ended up like this - I had such big plans for this year, and I have achieved nothing, its all a mess. 

I am in a dark place emotionally, I am trying to keep my head above the water, but my legs are thrashing in the seaweed that is trying to pull me down. 

Sorry for my depressing rant, I promise not to keep doing it, I will snap out of it and prove that even when things are beyond bad you can still lose weight. 

What is the best possible revenge?
To be successful.

Watch this space...

Weigh Day Results 19 May 2011

I am going to be brief with this entry, I wanted to let you know the results but things are a bit rubbish at home right now (my relationship has broken down and we are trying to work out how to live together while we wait to sell the house).  I am not sure how much I will be able to write for a while.  Saying that I guess a distraction might be a good thing.

I had a surprising 4lb loss this week, to be honest I barely ate on Wednesday and Thursday, I was really anxious and upset and just couldn't face food. Undoubtedly that made a difference, but at the same time I don't think I went over my syns either.   I was slimmer of the week, got my 1 1/2 stone award and my club 10; I am of course delighted but unfortunately with everything else that is going on, it has taken the shine off a bit.

Have managed to eat and stick to the diet the last few days as we have been talking more and trying to make things as painless as possible, when people put their relationship status as 'it's complicated' I know what they mean now.

I am determined to stick with Slimming World no matter how bad things get at home, being fat certainly didn't help our relationship and if I hadn't lost weight I think I would feel even worse now, as I wouldn't have had the energy to keep going.

Weigh Day Results 12 May 2011

I am really disappointed, only 1/2lb loss this week, I really thought I had done better, I had been imagining at least a repeat of last week, if not better.  I have to admit I stopped writing things down at the end of the week which is always risky but I didn't go over my syns - honest.

I have a wedding to attend in 7 weeks and I want to loose 8lbs, it is one of those events that to be honest I am dreading, I am not big on parties of any kind but this one is for a couple I don't know all that well, the groom is the other half's best friend from childhood, I don't know him that well .  Unfortunately the bride, who again I don't know that well, is actually friends with some girls I used to go to school with.  For me there is nothing worse than seeing people from my past, people who I know well enough that I should have a conversation with them, but was never actually friends with so I have no idea what to say to them.

It is the bane of my life but I am just not a social creature, I have tried everything to overcome my crippling fear of social situations. I just can't do small talk - I feel so self concious I am either convinced that I am boring people with whatever I am saying - I mean why would anything I say be of interest to them;  or even worse is when they actually act interested and they are looking at me, keeping their eyes on me, I feel like a bug under a microscope ready for dissection - it's terrifying.

If I can loose some more weight I know it will give my confidence a boost and maybe I will make it through the event without resorting to starting smoking again or getting very pissed.

I am sooo bored

I am bored, so bored that I am having to write a pointless post just to keep me from getting up and looking on the fridge for something to do (take that as eat).  Incidentally the fridge is devoid of anything remotely edible as I haven't been shopping (yes that would be a cure for my boredom - no-one said I was logical), so unless I am thinking of consuming the contents of the assorted condiment jars that line the top shelf, most of which have been there for at least a year, then I would be at a loss there anyway.

I know however that in the cupboard there is a secret stash of the forbidden brown stuff, all wrapped up in a lovely purple wrapper, crying out to be stuffed in my mouth.  I can almost smell the sweet creamy aroma, feel the individual squares beneath my fingers, hear the crack as I snap a chunk off and... well I daren't imagine the actual eating.

Oh Mr Cadbury why did you have to be so good at making chocolate?

Must resist, can't give in, I will not eat you DAIRY MILK!!!

Low Syn Sausages - Supermarket List

Asda Chosen by You Irish Recipe Thick Sausages, 20 pack, chilled 36g each		Red 2.5		Green 4		Extra Easy 2.5
Asda Meat Free Lincolnshire Sausages, 5 pack, chilled 56g each		Red 1.5		Green 1.5		Extra Easy 1.5
Asda Pork Sausages, Thin, 12 pack, chilled 28g each		Red 2		Green 3.5		Extra Easy 2
Asda Reduced Fat Cumberland Pork Sausages, 8 pack, chilled 57g each		Red 1		Green 4.5		Extra Easy 1
Asda Reduced Fat Pork Sausages, 50% Less Fat, 8 pack, chilled 57g each		Red 1		Green 4.5		Extra Easy 1
Asda Turkey Sausages, 8 pack,chilled 57g each		Red 2		Green 5		Extra Easy 2
Sainsbury's Be Good to Yourself Extra Lean Pork Cumberland Sausages, 8 pack, chilled 57g each		Red 0.5		Green 4		Extra Easy 0.5
Sainsbury's Be Good to Yourself, Extra Lean Pork Sausages, 20 pack, frozen 50g each		Red 1.5		Green 4		Extra Easy 1.5
Sainsbury's Butcher's Choice British Pork Sausages, 50% Less Fat, 8 pack, chilled 57g each		Red 2.5		Green 5.5		Extra Easy 2.5
Sainsbury's Meat free Hot Dog Sausages, 10 pack, frozen 30g each		Red 1.5		Green 1.5		Extra Easy 1.5
Sainsbury's Meat free Lincolnshire Sausages, 6 pack, frozen 50g each		Red 1		Green 1		Extra Easy 1
Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Beef & Black Pepper Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 58g each		Red 2		Green 5.5		Extra Easy 2
Sainsbury's Taste the Difference, Aberdeen Angus Beef Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 58g each		Red 2.5		Green 6		Extra Easy 2.5
Tesco Butchers Choice Half Fat Pork Sausages, 8 pack, chilled 57g each		Red 2.5		Green 5.5		Extra Easy 2.5
Tesco Finest British Lincolnshire Pork Chipolata Sausages, 12 pack, chilled 31g each		Red 2.5		Green 4		Extra Easy 2.5
Tesco Finest British Pork Chipolata Sausages, 12/20 pack, chilled 31g each		Red 2.5		Green 4		Extra Easy 2.5
Morrisons Eat Smart Cumberland Pork Sausages, 60% Less Fat, 8 pack, chilled 57g each		Red 0.5		Green 4		Extra Easy 0.5
Morrisons Eat Smart Thick Pork Sausages, 60% Less Fat, 8 pack, chilled 57g each		Red 0.5		Green 3.5		Extra Easy 0.5
Morrisons Eat Smart Pork Sausages, 40% Less Fat, 16 pack, frozen 57g each		Red 3		Green 6.5		Extra Easy 3
Morrisons Eat Smart, Pork Chipolata Sausages, 60% Less Fat, 10 pack, chilled 40g each		Red 0.5		Green 2.5		Extra Easy 0.5
Morrisons Irish Recipe Thick Pork Sausages, 15 pack, frozen 17g each		Red 1.5		Green 2		Extra Easy 1.5
Morrisons Meat Free Hot Dog Sausages, 8 pack, frozen 30g each		Red 1.5		Green 1.5		Extra Easy 1.5
Morrisons Meat Free Lincolnshire Sausages, 6 pack, frozen 47g each		Red 0.5		Green 0.5		Extra Easy 0.5
Waitrose Extra Lean Half Fat Pork Sausages, 8 pack, chilled 57g each		Red 2		Green 4.5		Extra Easy 2
Waitrose Free Range Pork Sausages, 12 pack, chilled 28g each		Red 1.5		Green 3		Extra easy 1.5
Co-op Healthier Choice, Pork Sausages, 8 pack, chilled 57g each		Red 2		Green 4.5		Extra Easy 2
Co-op Butchers Choice, Pork Sausages, Thin, Scottish,6/24 pack, chilled 38g each		Red 3		Green 5		Extra Easy 3
Co-op Pork Sausages, Thick, 907g pack, frozen 45g each		Red 2.5		Green 4.5		Extra Easy 2.5
Co-op Pork Sausages, Thin, 8 pack, chilled 28g each		Red 2.5		Green 3.5		Extra Easy 2.5
Co-op Pork Sausages, Thin, 907g pack, frozen 30g each		Red 2		Green 3		Extra easy 2
Bowyers Pork Sausages, 5% Fat, 8 pack, chilled 50g each		Red 1		Green 4		Extra Easy 1
Powters Low Fat Pork Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 67g each		Red 1		Green 5		Extra Easy 1
Powters Pork Sausages with Cider & Sage, 6 pack, chilled 67g each		Red 2.5		Green 6		Extra Easy 2.5
Powters Chipolata Pork Sausages, 16 pack, chilled 28g each		Red  2		Green 3.5		Extra Easy 2
Debbie & Andrews Garden Herb 97% Pork Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 67g each		Red 2.5		Green 7		Extra Easy 2.5
Debbie & Andrews Perfect Pork Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 67g each		Red 3		Green 6.5		Extra Easy 3
Debbie & Andrews Pork & Apple Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 67g each		Red 3		Green 6.5		Extra Easy 3

Above are the syn allowances from the Slimming World website.   I have to admit I always buy Joe's Sausages which are syn free and lovely - I highly recommend the chilli and garlic if you like something with a big spicy kick. However, if I haven't got any in and the weather changes and the BBQ looks a possibility I thought it worth writing down the best options available.  I haven't tried a lot of them, so couldn't say if they are worth the syns or not.  

Choosing a Chinese Takeaway

I really fancy Chinese, but I don't know what to have... The syns in the book for EE are as follows:

BBQ spare ribs	160g	8.5 syns
beef chow mein	450g	8.5 syns
beef with mushrooms	300g	4.5 syns
beef with peppers/onions/waterchestnuts	350g	12 syns
chicken and mushroom	340g	5.5 syns
chicken chop suey with noodles	300g	5.5 syns
chicken chow mein	380g	7.0 syns
chicken in oyster sauce	375g	4.5 syns
ginger & garlic prawns	440g	5.0 syns
noodles boiled	250g	free
peking duck and pancakes	375g	30 syns
prawn sesame toasts	2 pieces	7 syns
prawns in batter with sweet chilli sauce	300g	19 syns
fried rice	300g	4.0 syns
boiled rice	300g	free
chicken and sweetcorn soup	per serving	7.5 syns
crab and sweetcorn soup	per serving	6.5 syns
hot and sour soup	per serving	5.0 syns
won ton soup	per serving	13 syns
special fried rice (chicken, pork and prawns)	310g	9.5 syns
stir fry mixed veg	340g	6.5 syns
sweet and sour chicken in batter	320g	17.5 syns
sweet and sour chicken (no batter)	350g	8.5 syns
sweet and sour pork	325g	15 syns
sweet and sour prawns	200g	9.0 syns

I really like the naughty ones (no surprise there then) but I think maybe I should try something a bit more healthy.

Today's meals in photo's 06 May 2010

Bacon (fat removed), tinned tomatoes and eggs fried in fry light, dash of Lea & Perrins - syn free and yummy

Ingredients for Chicken Jalfrezi - I think that this works out as half super free so with rice should be the right amount.

The finished meal, very nice if I do say so myself and syn free again - I love SW

Weigh Day Results 05 May 2011

This week I managed to lose 1.5lbs, still another 1lb to lose what I gained last week.  Seriously losing weight is just not worth the time it takes to lose it.  I was really proud of myself this week, I made it through a bank holiday, including a trip to the seaside still under my weekly allowance.  What do I need to do to make the weight come off quicker?

I am wondering if maybe I am not really following the thirds rule properly, I really don't think about it although I do eat a lot of fruit.  I am going to make an effort to try and have a third super free on every plate, to help I am going to take photos of my meals and post them here, nothing like the idea of being caught out to keep you on track, so here goes...

Joe's chilli and garlic grills, dry fried courgettes, noodles and peas

Hmm don't think I will be winning master chef with this meal.

Weigh Day Results 28 April 2011

Not really surprisingly I had a 2.5lb gain this week. That means my end weight after the Lent Challenge is 14 stone 9lb.  A little bit disappointing as that is just 6lb in 8 weeks, especially as I had lost 8.5 lb last week.

My Award and prize Tiara which is in celebration
 of tomorrows Royal Wedding

Measurements 10 March 2011 compared with Today

Bust (in bra) 44 inch 43.5 difference -0.5 inch

Above belly button 40 inch 38 inch -2 inch

Below belly button 43 inch 42 inch -1 inch

Hips 46 inch 45 inch - 1 inch

Thigh left 26 inch  26 inch  -0 inch

Thigh right 27 26 inch -1 inch

Calf left 17 inch  17 inch -0 inch

Calf right 17.5 inch 17.5 inch  -0 inch


Next goal


I feel thinner, well not so much this week but definitely last week. Obviously the first thing is to get the weight off that I gained this week and then I am going to start aiming for the 2 stone award, I know I am skipping one, but I whenever I get close to it I gain weight so I figure forgetting it is there is a better idea.  I want to weigh 13 stone 13 by the 30 June 2011 that is 10 lb in 9 weeks that should be completely possible.  I may be going to a wedding the week after as such my goal is to look decidedly more svelte than I do at the moment.

I will be writing my food diary on a new page challenge to lose 10lb in 9 weeks

Other news


I found out this evening that I had been slimmer of the month for March, My consultant has been off sick a lot recently and she missed giving it out when it was due.  It is a shame really because I think I would have felt more motivated if I has known I had achieved that, as never in my entire SW life have I ever managed it before Still I will hold the fact that I can do it close to my heart as I attempt to undo the damage caused by my binge session by sticking to 70 syns this coming week.

Wish me luck... 

Naughty, Naughty Girl

Oh bother, it goes from bad to worse.  I have just taken part in some semi concious binge eating.

I walked in the door after physio to an empty house, my house guests have finally gone home, I have my house back hooray. So what do you do when you have your own house to yourself for the first time in 5 months; you clearly celebrate by eating half the kitchen, unfortunately it wasn't the sin free half. I didn't even mean to do it, I knew I shouldn't be sat eating out the remaining contents of a nutella jar with my finger.  I definitely knew I shouldn't be stuffing rich tea biscuits into my mouth with reckless abandon, but I couldn't seem to stop, it was like I was possessed.  And what was the result of 5 minutes of insanity;  feeling sick, guilty and depressed because I have totally messed up the week, and I doubt the scales will be going down tomorrow.

I feel a bit like an addict at AA confessing my deepest secrets - Hi my name is Susie and I am a binge eater!

Getting back on track - syn free snacks

Despite my rather optimistic entry the other day I still managed to derail from the plan over the bank holiday weekend.  Well they do say you should write what you know, and I sure do know how to fall off a diet.

I wasn't absolutely terrible, I didn't eat a small child or anything (actually would that be lean meat..?), I did however go over my syns again, yes I know it is becoming a habit - show me the faintest glimpse of an award and I start back peddling.  I have however hit today with the determination to take control of a bad weekend and stop it becoming and awful week, this is difficult because once I start eating things I shouldn't that is all I want to eat.  I have been trawling the cupboards (not to mention the fridge, freezer, pantry.. you will be glad to know I stopped at the dish washer, I haven't got as low as licking the plates clean yet) for syn free snacks to get me through the day.

So far I have eaten:

Crab sticks (free on red and EE)
Frozen cherries - straight out of the freezer (free on all)
Pickled eggs (free on all)
Oranges cut into four pieces (free on all)
Pickled onions (free on all)
Muller Lights (free on all)

I would love to know what anyone else eats for quick syn free snacks - please feel free to share...

Bank Holiday Slimming

Bank Holidays

The next few weeks are a bit of a dieting nightmare not only is it Easter, May Day and Spring Bank, we also have a Royal Wedding to contend with.  The weather seems to have changed for the better, there is a smell of BBQ's in the air and the beer garden at the local is looking ever so tempting... and don't get me started on the easter eggs and hot cross buns.



'Oh go on then...' the bank holiday diet trap

Sometimes it seems really easy to forget why we are putting ourselves through a diet or 'eating plan'.  The constant planning and saying 'no' to unhealthy food and writing down everything we eat becomes a chore. When everyone else it enjoying the holiday without even considering what is passing their lips it is all too easy to say 'blow it' and do the same. You have a few naughty things, then stop counting syns but 'try' to make good choices. You forget what you have eaten and without even realising you are way over the weekly allowance.

Excuses, Excuses 

The problem with this is that especially at this time of year is that one bad day can so easily become a terrible week. When weigh day comes you either get away with it: a loss, maintain or a tiny 'acceptable' gain and you think "well that worked out OK, maybe I can do that again"; or you have a big gain which leaves you feeling gutted then the excuses start - "I wasn't that bad", "I only had what they had", "you can't diet on a holiday", "I am never going to do this", "I don't want this diet to rule my life", "I will be good next week".

Losing Control

Usually when that happens I go home thinking 'Its a new week I will start again' ... but what's that, oh another bank holiday, and before you know it someone calls and you hear yourself saying 'yes it would be lovely to come round for tea/out for drinks/join you for dinner' and then it's  'well maybe I will just start again next week'.  Assuming you are not so racked with guilt that you don't go to class (the worse thing you can possibly do by the way) you are almost certain to put on more weight and the vicious cycle starts again, worse case scenario you miss a couple of groups, you know you have put on weight and you can't face everyone knowing how badly you have done so stop going completely and decide being fat isn't that bad.

Do you want a new life?

I have been thinking about the meaning behind all the days off and celebration and wondering how it could be turned around to motivate the bewildered slimmer.  Putting aside any religious meaning, the main theme of this time of year is rebirth, from flowers to little lambs the world is coming alive after winter. Where there was nothing there is life, and I think for me at least, the idea of a new life; one without excess weight, low self esteem and fear of food is something really exciting.  I am trying to keep that in mind through the coming weeks and hopefully this year I will not fall into the bank holiday diet trap. 

Slimming World Weigh Day - Results of Challenge Week 7

Another week has passed,  despite a bit of an iffy weekend, I have lost another 1lb.  I am pleased, but this next award is still evading me. The diary challenge ends next Thursday so it would be nice to get my stone and a half as a fitting reward for completing it.   

I am wondering what my next challenge should be, it has definitely helped writing a food diary so I will probably keep it up; this time though I think I need a more definite goal rather than just a pledge to stick to it.  Assuming I get my goal for next week the next award would be for club 10 (for losing 10% of your starting weigh) which is only an additional couple of pounds, whilst at this rate it would probably take me until next year to get there it isn't exactly aiming high.  I could aim for my 2 stone award - realistically at my current weight loss rate that would take another 7 to 8 weeks.  I think that I should aim for doing it in 7 weeks, which would take me to 9 June.  So my next goal starting 28 April is to get my 2 stone award by 9 June 2011.

I went shopping today (Tesco has 25% off all clothing - it would be rude not to), I picked up 5 items in a size 16 without trying them on, got them home and they all fit.  So happy, I haven't worn a size 16 in about 5 years it is the first time since I have been on this diet attempt that I have had to go out and buy a smaller size; I still had size 18's in my wardrobe that I was squishing into when I was really a size 20 so the change between those sizes wasn't really noticable.  Despite the small losses the fact that I could buy clothes in a smaller size means that I am feeling really motivated again, the ounces may be slow to fall but the inches are definitely disappearing.

Results of Slimming World Lent Challenge Week 6

There are good weeks and there are bad ones; unfortunately two weeks of flexible syns have resulted in my first gain, 0.5lbs.  I am disappointed, I didn't go that far over my syns and it isn't like I have lost much for weeks.  I need to think how I can speed up my weight loss. To make it worse; I have been invited out for tea on Saturday, I can't imagine it is going to be low in syns and as flexible syns are not working for me at the moment, so that is another challenge.

Somedays it all seems so hard, having to worry about everything that passes your lips, constantly thinking about food.  Why can't I have been born with a fast metabolism, why did I put on all this weight again, why doesn't everything go the way you plan.

I am slipping into a bad mood so I am going to leave it at that, wish me luck!

Slimming World All Day Breakfast Quiche

Boiled pasta shapes (I used Macaroni)
Joe's Chipolata Sausages cooked and cut into quarters
diced cooked Weight Watchers extra trimmed bacon ( all fat trimmed off)
Cherry tomatoes halved
2 cartons of fat free Longley Farm cottage cheese (other fat free cottage cheese can be used instead)
4 medium sized eggs

1.)blend eggs and cottage cheese together (set aside)
2.)place a layer of pasta in the bottom of a flan dish
3.)pour on enough of the egg mixture to cover (about a third)
4.) lay out sausage pieces evenly across pasta layer
5.) add more pasta and  another third of the egg mixture
6.) lay out bacon on top of the pasta
7.) add remaining egg mixture
8.) lay tomato halves on top


bake at 190 degrees for 40 mins

My slimming story - results of challenge week 5.

Another week and another 1lb loss. I have lost for 5 weeks in a row now, a miracle for me.  I have a long history when it comes to my weight losses and gains, so if you are sitting comfortably I thought I might take a moment to share my story.

I wasn't a fat child, but I was tall for my age, I towered above my friends; I started puberty at 8 had to wear a bra at middle school,  this made me hate doing sport in front of people. When the underarm hair started sprouting at age 9 I would do anything to get out of going swimming, I hated being different, I remember once being picked on by some teenagers because I played with babies, I didn't, they were friends from my class.

The lack of exercise combined with comfort eating meant that I started to gain weight in high school, by then other kids were catching up with me, in height and bra size, but the damage to my self esteem had already been done.  I never felt I fitted in and used to spend every summer dreaming that I would lose weight, my spots would miraculously disappear and I would go back to school thin, pretty and popular.  I started my first diet at 13, well it was more a case of only eating one meal a day.  I started calorie counting the year after, I lost a bit of weight but was totally overshadowed in my great unveil by a girl who came back half the size, with a whole new look and bags of confidence.  Despite the diets I was pretty much constantly a size 14 I felt fat and uncomfortable especially when my legs would rub together when I walked (I would give my right arm to be that size now, even with the sore legs).

I met my first serious boyfriend when I was 17, we both lived at home with our parents and soon we were eating takeaways two or three times a week, going to the pub on a weekend and generally living as unhealthily as possible, a year later I was a size 16.  Not long after that I went through a pretty dark period in my life, to be honest after years of self hatred I finally flipped.  I don't have much memory of my eighteenth year, I went from one anti depressant to another and spent most of my time in bed. I turned down all the offers I had for university and avoided thinking about the future.  I finally found some medication which let me function, albeit in a flat emotionless way but I was out of bed and could make plans. I made it through my A-levels by some miracle and decided to go an study an art foundation course at another local college, by then I was a large size 16.

I started making some changes to my life during that year, I had art therapy and gradually stopped taking medication as I learnt to deal with my emotions and some of the issues I had been carrying around for years.  I also joined a slimming club one with a restrictive calorie controlled diet. I applied to study Art and English at university and for the first time in my life I was happy. I lost weight and by the time I started university I was a size 12.  University life is notoriously unhealthy and without sticking to the diet 100% it was no surprise that by the end of the second year I was squeezing into size 16 trousers. I realised I would have to do something about it, in another year I would be graduating and that meant photos, photos that parents would want to put up on the wall,  and I was determined not to look fat in them.

I joined Slimming World the first time in May 2002 and I weighed just under 14 stone. The diet was a revelation, I could eat loads and still lose weight. I worked out how to save syns for nights out and new what I could have at the Indian takeaway.  The best thing was that I finally realised my dream of coming back visibly thinner from a summer break. By the time I returned for autumn term I had lost 1 stone 9lb's and was getting loads of compliments.  By the time I left university I was back down to a size 12, by May 2004 I was at my target weight of 10 stone 2lbs and a size 8/10.

Since then I have gradually gained all the weight back again plus a few more stone, I have rejoined slimming world numerous times, lost half a stone and then quit again, gone back another stone heavier each time.  I have been a member at my current group since October 2009 when I rejoined I was 15stone 13, I messed about at it for over a year, but this time I didn't quit and now, I hope, I am finally moving towards my goal again; this time I am only aiming for 11 stone 3lb, that was the weight I was happiest at and one I hope is maintainable.

I am excited to see how the story develops and I hope like all the best stories, that it has a happy ending

Flexible Syns - because this week I need them!

I went out last night, I tried to be good but on totalling up the syns I seemed to have gone totally off the rails - oops! So for the first time ever (well in the 10 years I have been playing at Slimming World) I am going to give this flexible syn thing a go.

The theory is that every so often we need more than our allotted 105 syns a week, no amount of saving up or cutting down is going to give you enough flexibility for this particular week.  So you set yourself a goal of how many syns you are planning on having in one day, say an extra 30 above your normal allowance, you count them, if it isn't enough you just count some more.  You get to the end of the day write them all down and draw a line under them.  The next day you go back to having your regular allowance of 15 syns of whatever you usually have.

Yesterday I went out to Loch Fyne, I chose really well I thought - a sharing platter which was pretty much all fish.  Moules Provençal, which is mussels with a tomato sauce, and I left most of the sauce. I had one small slice of wholemeal bread and two tiny pieces of white French bread.  Then there was the wine 3 x 175ml glasses hmm 18 syns there; worse still there was the dessert, oh dear chocolate cheesecake with lemon sorbet and a spicy pineapple compote.  OK it was lovely but at approx 21 syns that really pushed up my count.  So adding it all up I had a total of 60.5 syns yesterday.

Best case scenario
I had already had 21 syns so that is 81.5 syns.  I usually have about 30 on a Saturday so I could count 30.5 as flexible syns.  That means I had eaten 51 non flexible syns. I had 29 non flexible syns today so that means I have had 80 non flexible syns and should have 25 non flexible syns left for the rest of the week.

Worse case scenario
I count all 60.5 as flexible syns so I only had 21 non flexible syns plus 29 non flexible syns today which gives me a total of 50 none flexible syns.  leaving me with 55 non flexible syns for the rest of the week.

The idea is not to feel deprived so I suppose it depends how the week goes I can choose to have between 25 and 55 syns and still remain in control.  I will obviously try for the lower amount, but will try not to throw the teddy out if I go closer to the upper amount.

To summarise I either have 105 (plus 30.5 flexible syns) or 105 (plus 60.5 flexible syns) or somewhere in the middle.  Do flexible syns work? We will see on Thursday.

Slimming World Challenge Week 4 Results

Another small loss, another 1lb down.  I am now back to where I was before the horrible 7lb in 2 weeks that kick started this challenge.  I can't believe it has taken twice as long to lose it as to gain it, I best keep that in mind when I think about falling from the wagon. 

Now that I am starting to get more mobile with my ankle (I drove mum and me to slimming today - yippee for me), I am going to have to start upping up my exercise, I am not talking anything overly active but I think I could manage to do something everyday maybe go for a walk or swimming. 

I really want a 2lb loss next week, I dread writing that as when I set a target I usually go off track, but I want my stone and a half award. 

Check out my food diary here: Slimming World Challenge.

The Diet Struggle Continues !

I am having a bad diet week, I am still within the weekly syns but am struggling to maintain focus.  I can't work out why I get like this.  Is it boredom or a sense of why try so hard for such a small loss? I seem to get to week 4 and lose motivation. Keeping the diary is the only thing that is keeping me on plan at all, I nearly stopped at the weekend when I was eating everything in sight, but I wrote it all down on a scrap of paper and sat down while the kids were watching Karate Kid and worked out the syns.

I very nearly ate a McDonald's on Sunday, I checked the syns before we set off and decided that there was no way I was wasting that many on junk food; so while he and the not so little dears stuffed their faces, I had a coffee and a free bag of fruit (from an instant win on the monopoly game) instead.  OK I admit it... I stole a single chip, a small bite of a cheeseburger (well we won that too - so it was free), and a sip of banana milkshake - but they are all counted and in the diary, I figure I showed real restraint not giving in and eating the second free cheeseburger.

I made the smash pizza on Saturday, but I forgot to take a photo - I will take one next time I make one.  It was very filling, I think I made the base a bit too dry and I didn't roll it thin enough but other than that it was pretty good.  I didn't feel too deprived when they were eating the proper stuff.  I followed the Smash pizza recipe on Jess Collings' wonderful blog;  although I had mozzarella, olives, pepperoni and roast chicken on mine.

I also made some chickpea snacks thanks to a helpful hint from someone in my SW group.  I drained a can of chickpeas, laid them out on a baking tray, sprayed with fry light and sprinkled with season all and cooked for 15 minutes.  I ate them still warm, was a bit like those hot peanuts you get in bars - quite yummy.

Slimming World Challenge Week 3 Results

Tonight I lost 1lb, not exactly jumping for joy but that is three losses in a row.  I didn't feel like I had lost much so it wasn't a surprise but I would like to see at least 2lb next week.  The kids are staying this weekend which is always difficult, they are really fussy eaters and it isn't worth the arguments making them eat slimming world too.  I am going to try Slimming World pizza on Saturday night then they can have regular pizza without tempting me.

I will share my results later.

I find the variation in weight loss frustrating, 1lb, 4lb then 1lb again.  Why when we stick to the plan does the amount we lose vary so much?

My other half thinks that I am always a week behind on my weight loss, so the 4lb loss was a result of the first week on the challenge, and this weeks was the result of the 80 odd syns I had on week 2.  This week was just over 70 syns so hopefully that should be somewhere between the two.

There is always the issue of hormones, If we throw them into the mix,  last week was also star week and I always lose more then.  Then there is how much you eat and drink on weigh day, I never eat exactly the same so if I haven't digested the food then it might weight heavier some weeks than others.  There is also fluid retention as a result of exercise, hormones or medication.  Then there is the clothes, I don't always wear the same thing so that can add or lose a lb. When you think about it, there is no surprise that sometimes you have an unexpected gain or lose more than you thought you would.

I was feeling a bit down about the size of the loss before I started this post, but when you put it all in perspective like that, it doesn't seem too bad.

Click here for my full food diary for the Slimming World Food Diary Lent Challenge.

Slimming World Internet Recipe Trials

Mum and I decided to experiment with some Slimming World recipes we had seen online for tea tonight.  We had both independently come across recipes for Diet Coke Chicken, and were intrigued to try it.

The basic recipe was

4 skinless chicken breasts
2 onions
1 can diet coke
1 tsp worcestershire suace
3 tbsp pasatta

Basically you fry off the chicken and onion until the chicken is starting to colour then add the other three ingredients and cook off until the sauce has thickened.  We tested the sauce and decided it was a bit bland for our tastes so added the following

1 tsp chilli powder (ideally this would have been fried off with the meat at the start)
1 tsp chicken bovril
another tbsp pasatta

We cooked off the extra ingredients and served it with boiled rice.

The added heat from the chilli and the salt from the stock definitely gave it a more rounded flavour.

I think I was impatient to get eating as it is still a bit steamy - oopps!

The second experiment came courtesy of a fellow blogger at Slimming World Recipes, she has some interesting recipes and this one caught my eye, well who wouldn't say no to syn free crisps.

I was very impressed by how like crisps they were, so moreish and dead easy to do.  I have a horrible feeling the slimming world mafia may not approve, they can be awful funny about things like this.  But assuming I don't gain weight this week, I will definitely try these again.

Slimming World Black Forest Roulade





8.5 syns for the whole roulade





Yummy and less than 1.5 syns per portion

Serves 6

3 large eggs
8 tbsp artificial sweetener
2-3 drops vanilla essence
2 level tbsp plain flour
1 level tbsp cocoa
1 tbsp hot water
8oz fresh cherries (stoned fresh or desfrosted frozen)
255g quark








1. Preheat oven to 200 degrees C/Gas 6. Put the eggs, sweetener and vanilla essence in a bowl and whisk until light and thick. Fold in flour and cocoa powder and add the hot water. Spoon into a 29.5 x 23cm/13 x 8 inch swiss roll tin lined with greaseproof paper.
Bake for 8-10 mins.

2.Turn out onto a piece of grease proof paper, peel away the backing paper and trim the edges. Roll up and leave to cool.

3.Reserve a few cherries for decoration. Unroll the sponge and spread with the quark (add sweetner and vanilla essence to taste, set some aside for the topping) leave a 4cm/1.5 inch border. Reroll and decorate with reserved quark mixture and cherries.

4. Cut into 6 slices and serve.

8.5 syns for the whole roulade, less than 1.5 syns per slice.

Slimming World Challenge Week 2

Hip hip hooray, I lost 4lb's, and even better I am Slimmer of the Week.  I am really pleased, but considering that last time I had a good loss it was followed by two huge gains I am a little apprehensive about overdoing the celebration.

So far however, the challenge seems to be  going well, a total loss of 5lb in two weeks.  I have 6 weeks go to the end of the challenge, it will be interesting to see where I am by then.  I would really like my 2 stone award, which is 9 lbs away.

I know it is possible as long as I stay motivated, I feel more passionate about sticking to the diet than I have in years, I actually want to stick to it, for me.  Maybe that is it, the missing link - all this time I have wanted to be thinner because of what other people might think, I have wanted to be someone else.  For the first time in ages, I just want to be me, I want to lose weight to make me happy not anyone else.

If you would like to see my food diaries I am writing them up on the Slimming World Lent Food Diary Challenge page.

Slimming World Food Diary

I am still reeling from shock, I have gained 7lb, in just two weeks! Half a stone - I feel so annoyed, I won't make excuses, but I will say I didn't expect that size of gain.

The shock has made me determined to stick 100% to the diet this week. I really hope that the result will be a large loss, I am so disappointed I really wanted my two stone award by now, but I am back up at a total loss of less than a stone after this recent disaster.

I feel that there are some clear reasons for losing weight and I want to write them here for the world to see, that way I can't hide from them.

Reason 1: I want a sex life! How is that for brutally honest I think I may be finding my virginity again it really has been that long. I know I am unattractive and I have lost confidence in that department, but I miss feeling sexy and desirable; I don't expect to look like a page three model; just vaguely attractive.

Reason 2: I am reliably informed the PCOS symptoms will reduce if I lose weight down to a healthy level.

Reason 3: I hope losing weight will increase my fertility and my chances of conceiving (see reason 1)

Reason 4; I have little control or clue how to deal with anything else in my life, I think concentrating on weight loss as my primary goal for a while might lead me to resolving some of the other issues I am avoiding dealing with.

I promise to be good from now on, in fact for lent I am giving up cheating on slimming world! I am starting early so here is my food intake for the last 3 days.

Thursday Eve

Spaghetti with Quark, tinned tomatoes, 1 tbsp pesto (4 syns) and Quorn fillets.

1 Banana muller light and 1 plum.

Daily total 4 syns

Friday

Scrambled egg, fatless bacon, and tinned tomatoes.

Butternut squash and red pepper soup.

Pork loin and bovril on 4 ryvitas (HE).

Rhubarb muller light

Fresh Fig

Steak, SW chips, salad and 1 tspHelmans XL mayo (1/2 syn).

1 Hi Fi delux bar (6 syns).

Daily total 6.5 syns

Saturday

Bacon, dry fried egg, wholemeal bread (HE and 2.5 syns)

Butternut squash soup

SW lamb rogan josh, sw chicken balti, rice

4 x SW vegetable samosas (4 syns)

1 x Weight Watchers naan bread (5.5 syns)

2 x Coors Light beers (9 syns)

1 tsp lime pickle (0.5 syns)

1 x galaxy ripple (9 syns)

Daily Total 30.5 syns

Sunday

Bacon, scrambled egg, baked beans, 2 x weight watchers sausages (1 syn).

Plum

Roast chicken, dry roast potatoes, mashed potato, spring cabbage, carrots, leeks, yorkshire pudding (7 syns) and Gravy (4.5 syns)

2 x Alpen light (HE)

Daily Total 12.5 syns

Total so far this week 53.5 syns

The weekend is always the hardest part so I am pleased with how I have done so far, just got to keep it up.

Update will be posted tomorrow.

For the full food diary for this week and the whole of lent please see the Slimming World Food Diary Lent Challenge.