Fallen off the wagon again

I am hoping that through admitting how bad I have been this week I might just get it back under control I have been a bit rubbish all week with the odd syn here or there slipping in - then there was the weekend ooops takeaway Indian Friday night, booze and cheesy chips last night. Then today a bag and a half of maltesers half a bag of kettle chips (a big bag that is) then pizza and more cheesy chips to follow - I dread to think whAt the scales will say! So stupid that I keep doing this but you know what I am calling it my final blow out now I promise that I am going to get back on the road to target I want to be a size 12 by the beginning of may so no more flitting between good and bad weeks for me I must be more consistent - wish me luck !

3 stone award - finally!

I have been off the blogosphere for some time now but thought as seen as I had some good news for a change I would share it. Tonight I lost 4.5 lb and got my 3 stone award one stone one pound to go to my target weight (11 st 10lb) it seems a miracle that I have only that amount to go. in my head I think I am still the fat girl I was when I started I know I feel better and look better but there is some part of me that will always hear the negative comments and believe them - the world is a cruel place, full of selfish and nasty people who make themselves feel better by being mean to other people, what they say - how they look at you, or often, through you stays with you long after they forgot you existed! For me losing weight is just the start ! rebuilding me on the inside will take much longer - but with the weight loss comes strength and I know I will defeat my demons one day !