I am really disappointed, only 1/2lb loss this week, I really thought I had done better, I had been imagining at least a repeat of last week, if not better. I have to admit I stopped writing things down at the end of the week which is always risky but I didn't go over my syns - honest.
I have a wedding to attend in 7 weeks and I want to loose 8lbs, it is one of those events that to be honest I am dreading, I am not big on parties of any kind but this one is for a couple I don't know all that well, the groom is the other half's best friend from childhood, I don't know him that well . Unfortunately the bride, who again I don't know that well, is actually friends with some girls I used to go to school with. For me there is nothing worse than seeing people from my past, people who I know well enough that I should have a conversation with them, but was never actually friends with so I have no idea what to say to them.
It is the bane of my life but I am just not a social creature, I have tried everything to overcome my crippling fear of social situations. I just can't do small talk - I feel so self concious I am either convinced that I am boring people with whatever I am saying - I mean why would anything I say be of interest to them; or even worse is when they actually act interested and they are looking at me, keeping their eyes on me, I feel like a bug under a microscope ready for dissection - it's terrifying.
If I can loose some more weight I know it will give my confidence a boost and maybe I will make it through the event without resorting to starting smoking again or getting very pissed.
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