I maintained my weight this week, disappointed as I really hoped I had turned a corner. Losing weight feels like the only thing I have control of at the moment, when things don't happen how you expect it is just another blow to my self esteem. 'I can't even lose weight properly' is constantly going round in my head. I feel like a failure, I wonder how life ended up like this - I had such big plans for this year, and I have achieved nothing, its all a mess.
I am in a dark place emotionally, I am trying to keep my head above the water, but my legs are thrashing in the seaweed that is trying to pull me down.
Sorry for my depressing rant, I promise not to keep doing it, I will snap out of it and prove that even when things are beyond bad you can still lose weight.
What is the best possible revenge?
To be successful.
Watch this space...
Fill space as appropriate; weight, inches, hang ups, self hatred, fat, blubber, love handles, muffin top...
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Sunday, 22 May 2011
Weigh Day Results 19 May 2011
I am going to be brief with this entry, I wanted to let you know the results but things are a bit rubbish at home right now (my relationship has broken down and we are trying to work out how to live together while we wait to sell the house). I am not sure how much I will be able to write for a while. Saying that I guess a distraction might be a good thing.
I had a surprising 4lb loss this week, to be honest I barely ate on Wednesday and Thursday, I was really anxious and upset and just couldn't face food. Undoubtedly that made a difference, but at the same time I don't think I went over my syns either. I was slimmer of the week, got my 1 1/2 stone award and my club 10; I am of course delighted but unfortunately with everything else that is going on, it has taken the shine off a bit.
Have managed to eat and stick to the diet the last few days as we have been talking more and trying to make things as painless as possible, when people put their relationship status as 'it's complicated' I know what they mean now.
I am determined to stick with Slimming World no matter how bad things get at home, being fat certainly didn't help our relationship and if I hadn't lost weight I think I would feel even worse now, as I wouldn't have had the energy to keep going.
I had a surprising 4lb loss this week, to be honest I barely ate on Wednesday and Thursday, I was really anxious and upset and just couldn't face food. Undoubtedly that made a difference, but at the same time I don't think I went over my syns either. I was slimmer of the week, got my 1 1/2 stone award and my club 10; I am of course delighted but unfortunately with everything else that is going on, it has taken the shine off a bit.
Have managed to eat and stick to the diet the last few days as we have been talking more and trying to make things as painless as possible, when people put their relationship status as 'it's complicated' I know what they mean now.
I am determined to stick with Slimming World no matter how bad things get at home, being fat certainly didn't help our relationship and if I hadn't lost weight I think I would feel even worse now, as I wouldn't have had the energy to keep going.
Friday, 13 May 2011
Weigh Day Results 12 May 2011
I am really disappointed, only 1/2lb loss this week, I really thought I had done better, I had been imagining at least a repeat of last week, if not better. I have to admit I stopped writing things down at the end of the week which is always risky but I didn't go over my syns - honest.
I have a wedding to attend in 7 weeks and I want to loose 8lbs, it is one of those events that to be honest I am dreading, I am not big on parties of any kind but this one is for a couple I don't know all that well, the groom is the other half's best friend from childhood, I don't know him that well . Unfortunately the bride, who again I don't know that well, is actually friends with some girls I used to go to school with. For me there is nothing worse than seeing people from my past, people who I know well enough that I should have a conversation with them, but was never actually friends with so I have no idea what to say to them.
It is the bane of my life but I am just not a social creature, I have tried everything to overcome my crippling fear of social situations. I just can't do small talk - I feel so self concious I am either convinced that I am boring people with whatever I am saying - I mean why would anything I say be of interest to them; or even worse is when they actually act interested and they are looking at me, keeping their eyes on me, I feel like a bug under a microscope ready for dissection - it's terrifying.
If I can loose some more weight I know it will give my confidence a boost and maybe I will make it through the event without resorting to starting smoking again or getting very pissed.
I have a wedding to attend in 7 weeks and I want to loose 8lbs, it is one of those events that to be honest I am dreading, I am not big on parties of any kind but this one is for a couple I don't know all that well, the groom is the other half's best friend from childhood, I don't know him that well . Unfortunately the bride, who again I don't know that well, is actually friends with some girls I used to go to school with. For me there is nothing worse than seeing people from my past, people who I know well enough that I should have a conversation with them, but was never actually friends with so I have no idea what to say to them.
It is the bane of my life but I am just not a social creature, I have tried everything to overcome my crippling fear of social situations. I just can't do small talk - I feel so self concious I am either convinced that I am boring people with whatever I am saying - I mean why would anything I say be of interest to them; or even worse is when they actually act interested and they are looking at me, keeping their eyes on me, I feel like a bug under a microscope ready for dissection - it's terrifying.
If I can loose some more weight I know it will give my confidence a boost and maybe I will make it through the event without resorting to starting smoking again or getting very pissed.
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
I am sooo bored
I am bored, so bored that I am having to write a pointless post just to keep me from getting up and looking on the fridge for something to do (take that as eat). Incidentally the fridge is devoid of anything remotely edible as I haven't been shopping (yes that would be a cure for my boredom - no-one said I was logical), so unless I am thinking of consuming the contents of the assorted condiment jars that line the top shelf, most of which have been there for at least a year, then I would be at a loss there anyway.
I know however that in the cupboard there is a secret stash of the forbidden brown stuff, all wrapped up in a lovely purple wrapper, crying out to be stuffed in my mouth. I can almost smell the sweet creamy aroma, feel the individual squares beneath my fingers, hear the crack as I snap a chunk off and... well I daren't imagine the actual eating.
Oh Mr Cadbury why did you have to be so good at making chocolate?
Must resist, can't give in, I will not eat you DAIRY MILK!!!
I know however that in the cupboard there is a secret stash of the forbidden brown stuff, all wrapped up in a lovely purple wrapper, crying out to be stuffed in my mouth. I can almost smell the sweet creamy aroma, feel the individual squares beneath my fingers, hear the crack as I snap a chunk off and... well I daren't imagine the actual eating.
Oh Mr Cadbury why did you have to be so good at making chocolate?
Must resist, can't give in, I will not eat you DAIRY MILK!!!
Monday, 9 May 2011
Low Syn Sausages - Supermarket List
Asda Chosen by You Irish Recipe Thick Sausages, 20 pack, chilled 36g each | Red 2.5 | Green 4 | Extra Easy 2.5 | ||||
Asda Meat Free Lincolnshire Sausages, 5 pack, chilled 56g each | Red 1.5 | Green 1.5 | Extra Easy 1.5 | ||||
Asda Pork Sausages, Thin, 12 pack, chilled 28g each | Red 2 | Green 3.5 | Extra Easy 2 | ||||
Asda Reduced Fat Cumberland Pork Sausages, 8 pack, chilled 57g each | Red 1 | Green 4.5 | Extra Easy 1 | ||||
Asda Reduced Fat Pork Sausages, 50% Less Fat, 8 pack, chilled 57g each | Red 1 | Green 4.5 | Extra Easy 1 | ||||
Asda Turkey Sausages, 8 pack,chilled 57g each | Red 2 | Green 5 | Extra Easy 2 | ||||
Sainsbury's Be Good to Yourself Extra Lean Pork Cumberland Sausages, 8 pack, chilled 57g each | Red 0.5 | Green 4 | Extra Easy 0.5 | ||||
Sainsbury's Be Good to Yourself, Extra Lean Pork Sausages, 20 pack, frozen 50g each | Red 1.5 | Green 4 | Extra Easy 1.5 | ||||
Sainsbury's Butcher's Choice British Pork Sausages, 50% Less Fat, 8 pack, chilled 57g each | Red 2.5 | Green 5.5 | Extra Easy 2.5 | ||||
Sainsbury's Meat free Hot Dog Sausages, 10 pack, frozen 30g each | Red 1.5 | Green 1.5 | Extra Easy 1.5 | ||||
Sainsbury's Meat free Lincolnshire Sausages, 6 pack, frozen 50g each | Red 1 | Green 1 | Extra Easy 1 | ||||
Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Beef & Black Pepper Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 58g each | Red 2 | Green 5.5 | Extra Easy 2 | ||||
Sainsbury's Taste the Difference, Aberdeen Angus Beef Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 58g each | Red 2.5 | Green 6 | Extra Easy 2.5 | ||||
Tesco Butchers Choice Half Fat Pork Sausages, 8 pack, chilled 57g each | Red 2.5 | Green 5.5 | Extra Easy 2.5 | ||||
Tesco Finest British Lincolnshire Pork Chipolata Sausages, 12 pack, chilled 31g each | Red 2.5 | Green 4 | Extra Easy 2.5 | ||||
Tesco Finest British Pork Chipolata Sausages, 12/20 pack, chilled 31g each | Red 2.5 | Green 4 | Extra Easy 2.5 | ||||
Morrisons Eat Smart Cumberland Pork Sausages, 60% Less Fat, 8 pack, chilled 57g each | Red 0.5 | Green 4 | Extra Easy 0.5 | ||||
Morrisons Eat Smart Thick Pork Sausages, 60% Less Fat, 8 pack, chilled 57g each | Red 0.5 | Green 3.5 | Extra Easy 0.5 | ||||
Morrisons Eat Smart Pork Sausages, 40% Less Fat, 16 pack, frozen 57g each | Red 3 | Green 6.5 | Extra Easy 3 | ||||
Morrisons Eat Smart, Pork Chipolata Sausages, 60% Less Fat, 10 pack, chilled 40g each | Red 0.5 | Green 2.5 | Extra Easy 0.5 | ||||
Morrisons Irish Recipe Thick Pork Sausages, 15 pack, frozen 17g each | Red 1.5 | Green 2 | Extra Easy 1.5 | ||||
Morrisons Meat Free Hot Dog Sausages, 8 pack, frozen 30g each | Red 1.5 | Green 1.5 | Extra Easy 1.5 | ||||
Morrisons Meat Free Lincolnshire Sausages, 6 pack, frozen 47g each | Red 0.5 | Green 0.5 | Extra Easy 0.5 | ||||
Waitrose Extra Lean Half Fat Pork Sausages, 8 pack, chilled 57g each | Red 2 | Green 4.5 | Extra Easy 2 | ||||
Waitrose Free Range Pork Sausages, 12 pack, chilled 28g each | Red 1.5 | Green 3 | Extra easy 1.5 | ||||
Co-op Healthier Choice, Pork Sausages, 8 pack, chilled 57g each | Red 2 | Green 4.5 | Extra Easy 2 | ||||
Co-op Butchers Choice, Pork Sausages, Thin, Scottish,6/24 pack, chilled 38g each | Red 3 | Green 5 | Extra Easy 3 | ||||
Co-op Pork Sausages, Thick, 907g pack, frozen 45g each | Red 2.5 | Green 4.5 | Extra Easy 2.5 | ||||
Co-op Pork Sausages, Thin, 8 pack, chilled 28g each | Red 2.5 | Green 3.5 | Extra Easy 2.5 | ||||
Co-op Pork Sausages, Thin, 907g pack, frozen 30g each | Red 2 | Green 3 | Extra easy 2 | ||||
Bowyers Pork Sausages, 5% Fat, 8 pack, chilled 50g each | Red 1 | Green 4 | Extra Easy 1 | ||||
Powters Low Fat Pork Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 67g each | Red 1 | Green 5 | Extra Easy 1 | ||||
Powters Pork Sausages with Cider & Sage, 6 pack, chilled 67g each | Red 2.5 | Green 6 | Extra Easy 2.5 | ||||
Powters Chipolata Pork Sausages, 16 pack, chilled 28g each | Red 2 | Green 3.5 | Extra Easy 2 | ||||
Debbie & Andrews Garden Herb 97% Pork Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 67g each | Red 2.5 | Green 7 | Extra Easy 2.5 | ||||
Debbie & Andrews Perfect Pork Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 67g each | Red 3 | Green 6.5 | Extra Easy 3 | ||||
Debbie & Andrews Pork & Apple Sausages, 6 pack, chilled 67g each | Red 3 | Green 6.5 | Extra Easy 3 |
Above are the syn allowances from the Slimming World website. I have to admit I always buy Joe's Sausages which are syn free and lovely - I highly recommend the chilli and garlic if you like something with a big spicy kick. However, if I haven't got any in and the weather changes and the BBQ looks a possibility I thought it worth writing down the best options available. I haven't tried a lot of them, so couldn't say if they are worth the syns or not.
Saturday, 7 May 2011
Choosing a Chinese Takeaway
I really fancy Chinese, but I don't know what to have... The syns in the book for EE are as follows:
I really like the naughty ones (no surprise there then) but I think maybe I should try something a bit more healthy.
BBQ spare ribs | 160g | 8.5 syns |
beef chow mein | 450g | 8.5 syns |
beef with mushrooms | 300g | 4.5 syns |
beef with peppers/onions/waterchestnuts | 350g | 12 syns |
chicken and mushroom | 340g | 5.5 syns |
chicken chop suey with noodles | 300g | 5.5 syns |
chicken chow mein | 380g | 7.0 syns |
chicken in oyster sauce | 375g | 4.5 syns |
ginger & garlic prawns | 440g | 5.0 syns |
noodles boiled | 250g | free |
peking duck and pancakes | 375g | 30 syns |
prawn sesame toasts | 2 pieces | 7 syns |
prawns in batter with sweet chilli sauce | 300g | 19 syns |
fried rice | 300g | 4.0 syns |
boiled rice | 300g | free |
chicken and sweetcorn soup | per serving | 7.5 syns |
crab and sweetcorn soup | per serving | 6.5 syns |
hot and sour soup | per serving | 5.0 syns |
won ton soup | per serving | 13 syns |
special fried rice (chicken, pork and prawns) | 310g | 9.5 syns |
stir fry mixed veg | 340g | 6.5 syns |
sweet and sour chicken in batter | 320g | 17.5 syns |
sweet and sour chicken (no batter) | 350g | 8.5 syns |
sweet and sour pork | 325g | 15 syns |
sweet and sour prawns | 200g | 9.0 syns |
I really like the naughty ones (no surprise there then) but I think maybe I should try something a bit more healthy.
Friday, 6 May 2011
Today's meals in photo's 06 May 2010
Bacon (fat removed), tinned tomatoes and eggs fried in fry light, dash of Lea & Perrins - syn free and yummy |
Ingredients for Chicken Jalfrezi - I think that this works out as half super free so with rice should be the right amount. |
The finished meal, very nice if I do say so myself and syn free again - I love SW |
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Weigh Day Results 05 May 2011
This week I managed to lose 1.5lbs, still another 1lb to lose what I gained last week. Seriously losing weight is just not worth the time it takes to lose it. I was really proud of myself this week, I made it through a bank holiday, including a trip to the seaside still under my weekly allowance. What do I need to do to make the weight come off quicker?
I am wondering if maybe I am not really following the thirds rule properly, I really don't think about it although I do eat a lot of fruit. I am going to make an effort to try and have a third super free on every plate, to help I am going to take photos of my meals and post them here, nothing like the idea of being caught out to keep you on track, so here goes...
I am wondering if maybe I am not really following the thirds rule properly, I really don't think about it although I do eat a lot of fruit. I am going to make an effort to try and have a third super free on every plate, to help I am going to take photos of my meals and post them here, nothing like the idea of being caught out to keep you on track, so here goes...
Joe's chilli and garlic grills, dry fried courgettes, noodles and peas Hmm don't think I will be winning master chef with this meal. |
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