Comfort me !

Lesson for today - food is not the only comfort.  Today I couldn't stop eating - bread and butter, icecream and anything else I could find to comfort me. It was the first real cold day of the year and I was avoiding putting the heating on - eventually I gave in and guess what I stopped eating ! 

I think this demonstrates that there are other ways of finding comfort - putting the heating on, having a bath, going for a pamper session (manicure, pedicure, massage) using the sauna or spa at the gym, treating yourself to a new nail polish (double benefit that you can't pick at food whilst you wait for it to dry).  

I am going to try and find another pleasure before I resort to food in future! 

Oops I did it again

Channeling Britney isn't going to make me look like her - I'm too old to look like a school girl and after 2 weeks off plan probably capable of crushing her in a mid wrestling contest. That almost sounds Pervy ! 

Anyhow I'm back on it this week 20 syns so far and it's day 2 so I am in credit if only by 10 syns. The plan is not to go mad at the weekend - what's the old adage 'if you want something you haven't got you need to something you haven't done'. 

My weakness is weekends in the erm let's just say way too many years I have been a dedicated supporter of the miles-bramwell retirement plan - i have had more bad weekends than i card yo remember. This time I am going to approach them with less gusto and try not to use Saturday as an excuse to eat everything I 'fancy but shouldn't have' even when I'm just sat in watching the telly. 

Another thing I am paying extra attention to is the whole super free element. My consultant tells me that if I do it 100% I should be able to loose more than 1.5lb. I have always believed that I have been doing just that - there have been weeks I have complained that 'I only had 80 syns and I've lost a measley half lb' but when I think about doing it 100% I think about sticking to my syns. 

I don't think about the basics of the extra easy plan. I do have veg, I include it in my sauces , chillies and bolognaise and I try to throw some steam fresh on the plate with my evening meal when it's not got a sauce component. But it not like I actually have a visible third of veg on my plate.

Now I thought what I was doing was enough but when I lost a few weeks back despite bring over my syns, the one thing I knew I had done was eat lots of super free - I'd had salads and lots of extra veg in my sauces.  I can only conclude that increasing the veg is a good thing and will when combined with sticking to my syns lead to decent weight loss! 

I will let you know how I get on - bed time now - lets hope I don't have nightmares about rolling around in the mud with tarty school girl pop stars! 

Weigh day results

Another 1.5 off - seems to be a pattern at the moment. Still it's down - I have a house guest for the foreseeable future luckily he is used to SW but cooking for 3 instead of the normal 2 is going to be a challenge - still if I am going to keep losing and keep it off for good this time then I will have plenty of challenges on the way. 

SW was awash with royal baby talk tonight - ok I admit the twinge of jealousy - I still want a baby ! But the abuse that she's likely to get about her figure I could do without - still she will probably look fab anyhow - congrats Will and Kate ! 

Weight loss results

1.5lb off this week - a bit disappointed I was on plan and under my syns and did exercise. I know I should be happy with a loss but I can't help wanting a bit more.

Anxiety

Is it just me, or do other people have days where they have a constant nervous feeling for no real reason. Days when you question your every action, every word you say. I'm looking forward to tomorrow like a hole in the head but there's nothing in particular to make me feel like that.

Despite that feeling I am still within my sins just under 70 so far and aiming to have as a few as possible the rest of the week - I haven't made anything for lunch so ill have to shove a jacket in the microwave and have it with cottage cheese.

Maybe I'm just tired !

Day 3 #back on it

Ok so it Friday - I have been syn free since Tuesday night. I have eaten a stupid amount of fruit and yoghurt to keep me full - it's so hot at the moment that I am finding it easy not to eat too much.

I have a weekend with the kids ahead so I need to get organised I'm thinking bbq meats and salad. They'll eat anything as long as they can put it in a wrap so ill defrost some for them. I've got strawberries to snack on and I might get some low alcohol beer and low syn snacks - that's me thinking out loud !

Wish me luck

Back on it !

I haven't actually ever stopped - but I've just been ticking along up a pound down half, up two down one etc and following 2 weeks on the Black Sea coast up 6. Those of you with a grasp of basic maths will realise that rather than losing with slimming world, I have in fact been slowly gaining. Now 12.5 up on my lowest weight it's time to get my head into gear, my arse into action and my mouth chewing the healthy stuff !

So I've been hitting the super free and super speed the last 2 days and so far I'm syn free - note: syn not sin ;)

I am going to resurrect diet coke chicken tonight - it's been about a year since I last had it.

Since I got back from my hols on Saturday I have done 3 5k jogs - I'm doing race for life a week on Sunday and trust me I am not a natural runner.

I am hoping that all this leads to some pounds coming off. I swear they are all on my top tummy - does anyone else have this freaky too tummy thing one big bulge between the bra and belly button then another underneath? Sort of like a sack of spuds tied I'm the middle - I follow loads of body confidence blogs and all the curvy girls have perfectly round tummies where are all the freaks like me ?

Weigh day results 30 October

Lost 5.5lb amazing amount but I have a tummy bug been ill since Friday so that will have affected it - I was good when I was we'll enough to eat so its partly effort partly illness. I just hope I can keep it off and lose a little more next week - aim for another 2 and see how we go. I have achieved goal 1 do let's start with goal 2 back to my lowest weight that's 1.5 lb please an extra half on top would be fab!

Weigh day results 23 Oct 2012

Thirteen stone 3lb

Total up on lowest so far 7lb

I am hoping these goals are achievable but who knows - lets see how it goes my approximate aims are...

Goal 1: loose 4lb to get 3 stone award again (12s13lb) by 6 nov

Goal 2: loose 3lb to get to lowest weight again (12st10lb) by 20 Nov

Goal 3: loose 4lb to get 3 half stone award (12st6lb) by 4 Dec

Goal 4: loose 3lb to be a stone lighter than today (12st 3lb) by 1 Jan

Goal 5: loose 4lb to get 4 stone award (11st12lb) by 29 Jan

Goal 6: loose 2lb to get to healthy Bmi (11st10lb) by 14 Feb

Decide if this is a good target !!!

The almost silent post!

Shhh yes it's true I am back - after a shocking two weeks and a pretty pointless six months I need to do whatever it takes to get my mojo back!

No point boring you with what I have been doing but I am going to try and get back to my food diary on here and get back to basics with just sticking to it 100% like I did when I got in control

Wish me luck

Food diary

He - 2 Alpen light
Pasta with gammon, sweet corn and phili
Melon
Muller light
Medium Nero skinny latte
Skimmed milk in tea

Fallen off the wagon again

I am hoping that through admitting how bad I have been this week I might just get it back under control I have been a bit rubbish all week with the odd syn here or there slipping in - then there was the weekend ooops takeaway Indian Friday night, booze and cheesy chips last night. Then today a bag and a half of maltesers half a bag of kettle chips (a big bag that is) then pizza and more cheesy chips to follow - I dread to think whAt the scales will say! So stupid that I keep doing this but you know what I am calling it my final blow out now I promise that I am going to get back on the road to target I want to be a size 12 by the beginning of may so no more flitting between good and bad weeks for me I must be more consistent - wish me luck !

3 stone award - finally!

I have been off the blogosphere for some time now but thought as seen as I had some good news for a change I would share it. Tonight I lost 4.5 lb and got my 3 stone award one stone one pound to go to my target weight (11 st 10lb) it seems a miracle that I have only that amount to go. in my head I think I am still the fat girl I was when I started I know I feel better and look better but there is some part of me that will always hear the negative comments and believe them - the world is a cruel place, full of selfish and nasty people who make themselves feel better by being mean to other people, what they say - how they look at you, or often, through you stays with you long after they forgot you existed! For me losing weight is just the start ! rebuilding me on the inside will take much longer - but with the weight loss comes strength and I know I will defeat my demons one day !

Oops it has been a while apologies! Last week was my first week back on track it went ok i lost 1.5lb.

I have been hitting the gym big style recently which I am seriously loving, I get a real buzz after a really good workout this year I am determined to get fit as well as thin, I want to see how I look when I have muscle tone. I have never been into sport even a school I would think of any excuse to avoid P.E, when I was at target before I did exercise but I was really just playing at it. After last years injury I want to be able to do anything that comes my way climb snowdon tomorrow definitely ! Run a marathon next month count me in ! I don't want to be held back by my body anymore, it's been a hard journey getting my ankle back to nearly normal.

But the lesson I learnt was just how hard it is to be immobile to rely on other people, you see those morbidly obese people on tv and I know that one day that could have been me people who have never had a weight problem always say how could that get that fat but when you have gradually gained weight over a number of years you know how easy it is to get fat!

I am still aiming for target by April initially I want a stone off by the 14 feb I have 12.5lb to go so going to have to be good - stop eating costa panini's (yes I am useless and have no willpower today but it's on the food diary 21 syns for anyone who is interested) seriously doubt it was worth it but lessons are learnt from mistakes!

There is a huge part of me that is tempted to delete the 'Getting to target by May' page and start 'yet' again.. but in the interest of honesty I am not going to.  I have been messing about at this diet for months, pretty much ever since I came back off holiday - I don't want to make excuses for being useless after all nobody except me puts the food in my mouth.

However (and how did you know that was coming! warning excuse coming...) I do think that I am missing out on attending a fully functional class. My group is on the verge of closure - it hit an all time low when just 6 people got weighed last week.  I need the competition, the banter, the social interaction of a group - sharing ideas, spending that one evening a week concentrating completely on losing weight. With a class that has such small numbers, no permanent leader and a cloud over its head, all the benefits of going at all are missing.  I appreciate the leaders who have stepped in over the recent months, but I think the time has come for me to move on - so tomorrow will be my last Thursday weigh in regardless of whether the class closes or not, from next week I will be getting weighed on a Monday - and fingers crossed actually losing weight again.

I feel like I have let the kind readers of my ramblings down of late, hardly an inspiring weight loss story on display - hope to do better next year!  (sounds like my school report that)

Weigh Day Results 1 Dec 2011

I am quite surprised that I lost weight this week, I am certainly surprised that I lost 3lb.  Still I am not going to complain, makes up for those weeks I gained when I shouldn't have I suppose.

This week is going to be tough, it is Huddersfield Festival of Light this weekend,a fantastic 3 day festival of street theatre, and outdoor shows with lots of light inspired installations around the town.  I can't wait it should be fantastic. I am working on the main information stand tomorrow, and we are taking the kids on Saturday so it is going to be really hard to stick to the diet. Then it is Sunday dinner at my mum's and on Monday it is my birthday, I'll be 31 years old.  I think we are going to Liverpool for the day - which will mean eating out again.

Hopefully I can get back on the plan on Tuesday and then I should be OK for the last 3 days of the week.  Considering what I have planned I think I would be happy if I could just lose 0.5lb.

Getting on track after missing class!

I know a lot of people do SW without going to class, some very successfully but I am useless I know someone else is watching me - recording my weight and making sure I know where I am going wrong. I missed class last week to go to an awards ceremony - we won by the way- yipee!

But that means I have been off plan since Thursday morning when I stupidly decided to eat what I felt like, a slight hangover on Friday meant more junk food and a takeaway for tea and now I can't seem to get back under control, I keep starting each day with good intentions but have developed a taste for things I shouldn't and that is overriding my efforts.  I do really want to get motivated again, I have been messing about for far too long - I want to be at target by May that's 23 weeks and I need to loose 33lbs.  I need to start losing 2lb a week on a regular basis to have any chance of achieving this goal - it is time to get serious.

I need to set a new food diary challenge so come Thursday when I get weighed again I am going to start a new page (turn over a new leaf?) and set about that 2lb a week loss.

Wish me luck!!!

weigh day results 10 Nov 2011

OK I suspected that it would be a gain, I am not even surprised by the size, I deserved every single one of those 3lb's.  Those who are good at Maths will have already worked out that I am back up above the 2.5stone I was so happy about last week - damn it!

The reason for my appalling gain - I have had a stinking cold all week, my car is broken, its horrible weather and I remember why I learnt to drive, public transport is unreliable and slow and nothing is more depressing than standing at bus stop shivering for 40 minutes.  I turned to food for comfort, and despite having a whole host of healthy options for warm comforting food I decided I wanted everything I shouldn't. For anyone who is going off the wagon for a week who loves burgers I highly recommend Oscar's Mountain Burger from Oscar's wine bar in York, the Special burger is amazing too (from previous experience).  However anyone thinking about actually losing weight probably should avoid it like the plague.  I suspect if I had stopped there I might have maintained, but the rest of the week was no better biscuits, sandwiches, toast, pasties, chocolate... the list goes on.

Oh well never mind, what's done is done I have started this week determined to get back on the plan, I am still not 100% well but I have set myself a goal for Christmas and I am never going to get there unless I am dedicated.

I went shopping yesterday and ended up buying some clothes in ASDA without trying them on, I picked up 14's because my work trousers are a 14 from there, and fit fine.  Hmm sizing is an evil devil the size 14 jeans I picked up are impossible to fasten, they barely make it over my bum - very disappointed.  However I will not be beaten I am wearing them this Christmas, and I do mean 2011!

Tomorrow SW curry for tea - no takeaways, no eating out!!! Wish me look fellow weight battlers!

Slack Alice blogger is back again - with an award !!

So its been a couple of weeks and I finally got my 2.5stone award - yipee!  Down to 13stone 5lb lowest weight since about 2005.  I am trying desperately to get down to a real size 14 dress size - I have an awards ceremony to attend for work on the 17 November. Incidentally this is weigh night so I will be missing one, but am going to look for a Friday class that week so I can keep on track.

I really want to look good and don't want to buy a 16 as I will probably not wear it again if I keep losing weight being I am on the cusp of a 14 already, definitely on the bottom, tops are still just a bit tight.

I am going to go shopping tomorrow to the coast outlet shop in York and we will see how it goes, I can't look a mess as I am sitting on a table with the chief exec of the local council and various other senior managers... scary!!

So what else do I have to share, oh my group still doesn't have a new leader, we have about 20 regular weigh-ins at the moment but I don't think we are going to see any real growth until we have some consistency - If I was closer to target I think I would take it on, I know it could be a good one, the audience is out there they just need someone to take them under their wing and get them on track to a better, healthier life.

I have really begun thinking that a career in slimming world might be my next step - I really do believe losing weight with a healthy long term plan is life changing, I wanted to loose weight to look better; but you know what the real benefits -feeling fitter, having more energy and not using my weight as an excuse have been much bigger and more important changes - if I could bottle up the change losing weight has had on my life I think I could make a fortune.

When you are really overweight; when just tying your shoes makes you out of breath, when you loose interest in your life, can't be bothered to do anything around the house and start believing that this is you, this is all you deserve: The idea that you might one day love going to the gym, relish seeing the house clean and shiny - be much happier doing something than just sitting around and actually feel alive again is so unbelievable that you just continue to vegetate and get bigger.

Even after starting to loose weight, the littlest set backs are so hard to overcome when you just don't seem to be able to do anything right, you can make excuses for why you can't loose weight but the only real barrier to a happier you is you, and throughout your journey you will have days like that, days when its easier to say this is me, I can cope with that - but remembering that you already feel better and that you could feel better still if you continue to try is what you should hang on to.

The journey may be long -but its worth it and one day you will look in the mirror and smile - I know one day I will, well at least I might look at myself and not feel the urge to throw something at the mirror.

Here endeth my though for the day|!!

Happy slimming!!

I'm back - blooming internet!

OK weeks of internet problems caused by my stupid security blocking my ISP and I am back.  Can't say much has happened diet wise I am currently weighing in at 13stone 8lb (well I was last Thursday).  I have started doing some clothes shopping, I had no winter clothes in less than an 18, so I went and tried on some trousers in the supermarket and bought... wait for it.... a size 14! OK I know supermarket sizes are a bit bigger than the high street, bit still it is 3 sizes smaller than I was at my heaviest, so I am really delighted by this.

Diet wise I have been a bit hit and miss for weeks - trying to do more exercise, eat more fruit and veg and stick to my syns.  I got a suitcase of size 12 clothes out of the attic yesterday and decided I wanted to be in them before the end of the winter - ideally by Christmas, I don't know how much weight I need to loose, I know its a stone a size but my recollection is I was a size 12 when I weighed 12 stone so that's just over a stone and a half.  Ten weigh days before Xmas that could mean a loss of 20lb is that would get me 2lb away at 2lb a week.

Now anyone following my blog will know I loose 1lb a week pretty much no matter what I do so that could be a bit of a stretch, but I figure aim for the stars and worst case you might land on a cloud.

I will try to loose 2lb a week from next week and see how it goes!